SePG (Sequential Phrase Grammar)
Showing the teacher my schedule, she's young, she's the first teacher to actually look at me, this is the first time today I felt like a real person with feelings. She gives my schedule back, smiles nicely at me, then refocuses on the class and looks stressed. I sit down.
I've written a book on SePG. (Download) You can email me and I will happily send you the current copy, it's basically in finished form. If you like cutting-edge, this book is for you. (If you want to understand the grammar of modern writing, this book is for you. If you want to understand some principles of easy-to-understand writing this book is for you.)
If you want to be cutting edge, you can explore this grammar. For a whole book, or just for part of a scene. Um, you might want to read the full rules.
The basic idea is really simple. You write a sequence of meaningful phrases, probably separated with a comma. Like the above, though that throws in a few curves.